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Archive for the ‘references only tuffy will savor’ Category

tildewatchThe inevitable fire sale has been going on for quite some time, and the centerpiece of all that has been His Tildeness. He was supposed to be traded, like, eight times to seven different teams in the last year, if you believe everything you hear. And if you’re that gullible, when are you going to pay me back that ten bucks?

Anyways, if the Tigers are flat out of the race, you’re going to be haring a lot of teams wanting to claim ownership to our bloggable inspiration. Take it away, James Schmehl! Schmimazehl! Hassenpfeffer Incorporated!

Ordonez is guaranteed $18 million this year and has vesting options for 2010 and 2011. A strong selling point is that he has limited no-trade protection. But unless the Tigers are willing to work with teams to take on part of his contract, I don’t see much trade value.

First of all, MLive, if you’re on a Mac, it’s option+n and then another “n.” Use the tilde and use it well. Secondly, of course teams want him. Who wouldn’t love to trade for a God among men? Rarely can you find a divine force teams are willing to part with.

When all is said and done and baseball is extinct and replaced with a version featuring robots and large-breasted blonde women, there will still be Magglio Ordoñez on the Detroit Tigers, a team that no longer exists. By then his average will be slightly less than it is today, in his prime. I’m going with .326.

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There’s a reason Peter Gammons works for the largest sports media outlet in the country and Lynn Henning works for a still large metro newspaper but nevertheless the antagonist for this metaphor.

From Gammons’ Insider Only blog, which is not yet named Gammoblog because he’s not taking my suggestions:

• There are rumblings that the Tigers may have to lop $40 million off their payroll before the beginning of the season. But on Tuesday, manager Jim Leyland let it be known to upper management that he’d like his contract extended through 2010, and says “I’d like to manage another five years.”

Since the Tigers are already committed to more than $100 million for 2009, getting down to $100 million may be very difficult. Pudge Rodriguez is gone, Kenny Rogers, Edgar Renteria and Todd Jones may be as well. But if Jeremy Bonderman comes back and Justin Verlander returns to his 2007 form — as anticipated –and if they can add another starting pitcher, the feeling is that Detroit can contend again.

Getting rid of Rogers, Jones and Renteria? But who will fill the badly needed role of underperforming old guy? Oh … sorry, Gary Sheffield. Didn’t see you standing there.

But the important part here is that in an item about the Tigers cutting payroll, it directly omits Tild-A-Bear from the salaries that can be given up, thereby putting to bed Lynn Henning’s idea to move the bastard to a different team with a high payroll.

I think Curly ‘Fro Besser has another year left on that contract, so hopefully he can survive through ’09 and get a clause in his 2010 lifetime contract with the Tigers that he cannot be traded to any team as long as an Internet weblogpage is still posting regularly in his honor.

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(Duane Burleson of the AP loves showtunes as much as we do.)

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No, he can’t.

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Yes, so.  That’s Carlos Quentin pointing at my crotch with his glove.  He is SO on the Enemies of the Tilde list.

(Nam Y. Huh of AP Photo wanted me to share this with you.)

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Say hello to ♬ Clay Rapada
From Toledo ♬ they will borrow
And they say he will replace Yorman Bazardo

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