Unlike Allen Q. “Chuckles” Iverson, Magglio Ordoñez is above such mortal feats of redundancy. But he humors the populous by partaking in it anyway. Jason Beck, the prophet to His Tildeness, is there with a stylus of pure ivory. (And a skosh of ink.)
“It’s very interesting, from an untrained eye, to look at him and go, ‘That’s the worst BP I’ve ever seen in my life,’ ‘” Brandon Inge said.
HOW DARE ONE QUESTION THE UNQUESTIONABLE QUESTIONS OF …
“But I’m telling you, it’s very calculated. He just gets his bat down on a plane, keeps his hands through, and he hits foul balls over there.”
If Tilde wants to hit foul balls, he will. If Tilde wants to strike out, to make fans feel bad about not paying convenience fees for their tickets, he will.
The story goes onto say that he’ll hit any ball — whether it’s thrown, placed on a tee, cooked in a quiche, and even imaginary baseballs — and drive it to any part of the field. This, of course, is something we already knew.
Take it home, blogger nerd:
“The only bad thing that it has done,” Granderson said, “is it doesn’t give him the credit of as good of a hitter as he is, because his power numbers go down a little bit. But in situational hitting, he’s one of the best guys, I think, in the big leagues.”
I have no problem in believing that Cabrera’s on-base percentage, Inge’s power surge, and Gerald Laird’s ability to impersonate somebody other than Gerald Laird is all related to Magglio Ordoñez showing them how it’s done in batting practice. He’ll hit a baseball directly into the gut of Ramon Santiago, for example, and he shall be imbued with the ability to hit bases-clearing doubles. Shall the recipient of the BP line drive be not worthy, he will be instantly designated for assignment and play for, perhaps, the Astros.