Archive for April, 2008


Jason Grilli is leaving the team that has been a big part of his family since his father pitched for Detroit in the late 1970s.

The Tigers traded Grilli on Wednesday to the Rockies in exchange for Minor League prospect Zach Simons, a Class A right-handed reliever.

Wait a second. You tell a first-person story about a baseball player you wish wouldn’t screw the game up any more, and then he’s gone from the team?

Because I posed this question to Kenny Rogers when he, Gary Sheffield, Zach Miner and I were doing lines of cane sugar off a stripper’s rear end. He just smirked and said “Get some more Pixy Stix.” Which is odd, because he had just stolen a handful of those from some Sunday school children not three hours before.


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So, uh, it’s been a busy few days in the world of The Big Tilde. As evidenced in the previous post, we finally cracked televised media with Fox Sports listing “The Big Tilde” as one of Magglio’s nicknames. We’re pretty happy about this development considering we are just three guys who randomly decided this should be his true nickname one evening at Comerica in the next to the last row of the joint. “The Big Tilde” has become common parlance on Deadspin, has been mentioned in the Lansing State Journal, and even MLB.com has gotten in on the act. Next up, we want to hear it come from the mouth of Morgan, Miller, Buck, or McCarver. It’s bound to happen. Actually, I’d like to hear Mario adopt it first. As for the games, our Tigers dropped 2 of 3 to the Angels. Monday was a day off, but we found our heroes in Yankee Stadium on Tuesday night… (more…)

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This completely dodged me during Saturday’s win over the Angels, but in the bottom of the 5th inning we got this player profile from Magglio Ordoñez:

We befriendeth you, Rupert Murdoch. Kind of.

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Okay, so we didn’t really feel like talking about the series against the Angels. Can you blame us? Mothers, did you notice your babies stop crying right around when Justin Verlander was pulled from the game? And the players with more than 1 win on the team: Armando “non-non-Hodgkins” Galarraga, Clay Rapada, and Aquilino Lopez.

And now it’s an off day. Nothin’ else to talk about. [puts hands in pockets, whistles casually…]

All right, fine, this is as good a time as any to tell you about the time Steve Grilli e-mailed me out of nowhere. (more…)

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Nothing silences food critics better than twice-baked potatoes. Just look at ’em. Melts R.W. Apple’s heart every time. Moreover nothing silences baseball critics better than twice-baked home runs. And nothing certainly welds a baseball article together better than food metaphors. Wilmer Tilderrama had himself an appetite for destruction on the caloric Jason Jennings, smashing two home runs and driving in four in this 8-2 rout of the Texas Rangers. Delicious.

And … what the spud? Zach Miner went 3 1/3 innings of scoreless baseball for the win. Now that’s worth a look inside the series sweep: (more…)

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What a  game last night at Ford Field Comerica. Things were not looking too good early on, as The Gambler was getting hit early and often. The Rangers jumped out to an early 5-0 lead as we headed into the home half of the 2nd…and that’s when things got interesting. BInge knocked in a run, then Bizarro Ramon Santiago contiuned his hot streak with a 2 run hit, followed by another 2 run hit from Carlos Guillen. Then, in the 3rd, it started to get weird – Bizarro Jacque Jones hit a homer to give the Tigers a 6-5 lead, giving him the elusive 2-day Cycle. Well played Jacque. The Rangers tied it back in the fourth, the The Big TIlde knocked in a run to bring it to 7-6 Tigers and things were peaceful again until the sixth. You see, in the sixth inning, things escalated rather quickly…


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And with one mighty swing toward the heavens, the Swoosh Buckler himself, Los Tilde Maximus, Magglio Ordoñez, collected his 1000th career RBI, by driving himself in with a “homed run.” His Tildeness’ solo homer prompted The Mig Tilde to swing for a dinger of his own in the very next at bat, enabling the masses to rejoice “back to back” in this O so joyous 10-2 romp of the Texas Rangers. (more…)

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