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Archive for March, 2008

Alas, Opening Day was not kind to the followers of The Tilde. While our hero went 2 for 5 on the day with a double, sadly the Tilde was not able to bring anyone across the plate this afternoon in Detroit. In better news, Miguel Cabrera (aka The Mig Tilde) may have only gone 1 for 5 in his Tigers debut, but that one was a lovely solo homer.

The Tiggers have Tuesday off before resuming the series against KC on Wednesday.

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“A real shame about Son of Grander breaking his finger like that. I know he won’t be gone long, but we’ll still miss his…”

“Wait, Son of Grander is hurt?”

“Yes, only this past eve, he…”

“His spot is open?”

“Well, for a few weeks, there will be a need for…”

“I’ll do it.”

“I… okay. What?”

“I’ll take his spot. I can handle anything. I’ll do it.”

“Have you ever tried before?”

“No, but it’s alright: we’re related. I can handle it.”

“You’re what?”

“Related. I’m related to Son of Grander. I’m Third Cousin of Grander.”

“You… you’re related to Son of Grander.”

“Yep. Third cousins. Family picnics were great. Lots of potato salad.”

“… by marriage?”

“Nope.  Regular related.  Third cousins.  Very cousiny.  To the third degree.”

“Uhm… okay. Get out there.

“Thanks! I won’t let you down! Bye, coach!”

“Huh. I would have never guessed. If you tilt your head a little, though…”

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Noooooooooooooo.

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That pitch (Son of Grander) took off of his hand on Saturday? It turned out to fracture his middle finger, right around the base. The hope at this point is that he’ll be in a split for about two weeks and hopefully be able to return to action soon after that once he gets back into a rhythm.

Not funny, Fate!  You’re not funny!  You’re derivative and maudlin!  Miller Lite wants to give you a series of commercials!

Sons of Grander.  Dammit.

(Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images brings us this visual sadness.)

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Heavens.

Miguel Cabrera and the Detroit Tigers reached a preliminary agreement Saturday on an eight-year, $153.3 million contract extension, a source close to Cabrera told ESPNdeportes.com on condition of anonymity.

Big Tilde, meet your running mate for MVP ’08 and the VP of your administration for the next two terms.

Also, in case anyone in the AL was curious: PIZZA PIZZA MOTHER&#@*ERS.

(Thanks, Mr. AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

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If this is what it takes for you to feel part of this team in 2008, Brandon, we’ll talk to the Original Tilde.

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