The man you see here to the right is Mr. Paul Schrieber. Family man. Lover. Sinner. Doer of things he should have done a long time ago. And a one-time transgressor of Notinaslump Ordoñez.
After calling out Tilde on strikes in the seventh inning, Mr. Schrieber forgot the cardinal rule: Touch Tilde Unlesseth Commanded To Touch. (For those interested, this is dogma derived from the Church Of Sexing Mutombo.) This touching, in turn, caused Jim Leyland to scream the tar out of his lungs, resulting in an ejection.
Well, before the Tilde Prophets could write letters excommunicating him from our upcoming picnic, Schrieber confessed his sins to the pertinent deity: “I should not have placed my hand on him. For doing so, I apologize to both Magglio Ordoñez and the Detroit Tigers.”
I have no idea how the game ended. In actuality the game ended the minute religious crimes were inflicted.