I Used To Rather Fancy Baseball

Earlier Tuesday night, Fernando Rodney was demoted from “closer” to “one of the closers.” The plan was to make Rodney, Joel Zumaya, and O’Doyle Kyle Farnsworth all closers. And a funny thing happened.

Farnsworth and Zumaya — the kids to help Walk Off Rodney — were the ones that blew saves. Rodney actually tossed three scoreless.

In a game where Bonk hit two home runs, the closers returned the favor by allowing the White Sox to have equal and/or greater value dinger force.

There once was a time when I liked baseball. I remember it like it was last Thursday. Which is funny, because it was actually last Wednesday. The game was simpler then. Detroit scores runs. Other team scores a few more runs. Then Detroit ultimately scores more runs, and the final score would be 32-31, with Todd Jones blowing 5 saves in the game, Miguel Cabrera going 9-for-21 with 3 home runs and 14 RBI, and Casey Fossum going a perfect 1/3 inning.

But those times are gone. Lo, it is August. The Tilde is chasing a batting title. Third place teams may not feature MVPs, but here in Tildeland, where you must be this wavy to ride the rollercoaster, he’s still the contstant of the lineup. The rock. 2-for-7. No strikeouts. No DPs. He took Polanco’s line, and was selfless enough to instill the ball-go-far power in the second baseman. The dingermeld is a delicate process, one that shouldn’t be tried by mortals, and as a result, it left a pretty bad bump on Polanco’s forehead.

Maybe there will be a time when I can enjoy baseball again. Maybe that day will be tomorrow, or whenever they win a game in some cool fashion, thereby saving the season and keeping alive their chances for the playoffs. But until that time, their chances of making the playoffs are probably gone.