Sometimes your young starter is left in a little too long despite a low pitch count. Sometimes your bullpen makes you pine for another Sussman-led campfire song about Jason Grilli. Sometimes Captain Eephus throws well against all odds. Whaddya gonna do?
You send Justin Verlander back out there Saturday and ask him to stop sucking for a few innings. That’s what you do.
(Note: If this had been Game 14, we would have recommended 50 ways to enjoy a shame spiral. Maybe a few drinking games meant to encourage nascent alcoholism. Times change.)
And now a few news and notes about the game. Breakin’ it down, Gammons-style:
Big Tilde Notes: Another home run for the Wavy One produced the only run of the evening for Los Tigres.
Ivan the Stout Notes: Man’s still got a cannon. He came up throwing on Carlos Go-Go-Gomez and nailed him in his ear flap. Carlos left the game, resolute that he would never anger Ivan the Stout again. Ivan the Stout will &#*$ you in your earhole if you run on him.
Captain Eephus News: From the AP recap – “The big Cuban settled down after that, using every trick in his 33-year-old bag to keep the Tigers off balance.” We assume he was given this bag of tricks for high school graduation.
♬ He’s got the whooooole world, in his ‘pen
He’s got the whooole wide world, in his ‘pen
He’s got the whoooooole world in his ‘pen
He’s got the whole world in his ‘pen
♬ He’s got Jason Grilli, in his ‘pen
He’s got Jayyy-sonnn Grilli, in his ‘pen
He’s got Jason Grilli, in his ‘pen
He’s got the whole world in his ‘pen
Pudge, high socks? I know the Mig Tilde is starting a revolution but that seemed a little bit ridiculous!
[...] I wrote all last weekend for The Big Tilde about ass-bats and asshats. Friday, Saturday, and [...]