…we salute you.
The battle for the playoffs has been rather crowded for the Tigers. If it wasn’t Indians over one hill, it was Mariners just over the horizon or Yankees charging at them with $200m bayonets. It would be quite understandable if a poor kitty would feel just a bit paranoid about its current situation.
Today, though, one of the teams jostling for position in the American League has unofficially retired their claim on playoff glory. The Mariners turned their flag to declare distress tonight in Detroit, went down for the third time, flipped the ship upside down and turned to Gene Hackman to lead them to oxygen, etc.
Losers of 14 of the last 15 contests, the Mariners found their strategy of “Felix and pray for lots of rain which should totally work because we play in Seattle oh hell we play in a dome never mind” to be lacking in finishing kick. Jeff Weaver provided a Jeff Weaver-like performance in a 12-6 drowning in Detroit Saturday night. Nate Robinson did the same, but the Detroit bats were far less forgiving of a weary Mariner ‘pen.
The Big Tilde did his share of damage on a day where most Tigers got their shots in on the fresh seaman’s corpses, knocking in two runs (one in the RBI column) and scoring one of his own before getting a well-deserved rest for that omnipresent swollen left knee. The Tigers will now focus on those land-based enemies and can be forgiven if, wedged between the natives on one side and the imports on the other, they break out the Stealers Wheel.
The Big Tilde’s day: 1-3, 2B, BB, RBI,
Season to date: .354/.427/.590, 26 HR, 121 RBI
BUT WHAT IS HIS UP-TO-THE-MINUTE VORP?
Teal. His up-to-the-minute VORP is teal.