Posted in big tilde, little tilde, magglio ordonez, son of grander, tuffy on September 30, 2007 | 7 Comments »
A New Spring Approaches
Son of Grander stepped from his home in Greater Chitown on a brutal February day and let the snow pelt his skin. His long winter’s nap had been necessary, true, but it had numbed his body to the world. Winter’s Breath stabbed through him and made him feel alive again. [...]
Posted in big tilde, conceding victory through queen parody, magglio ordonez, suss, that picture is comedy bullion on September 19, 2007 | 9 Comments »
Magglio “The Big Tilde” Ordoñez will likely finish with a batting average of .350something, 20something home runs, and 130whoknows RBI. Those are some goddamn series MVP-caliber numbers. But after being swept in Cleveland — in which Detroit had a 2-run lead in all three games, mind you — they are now 7½ games behind the [...]
Posted in big tilde, little tilde, magglio ordonez, tuffy on September 14, 2007 | 1 Comment »
A third-year French student trying to impress a random buxom young co-ed at a frat party will often break out some obscure bit of the language with an unnecessary flourish of his accent. He’ll start by mentioning that he did a study abroad semester in Paris.
Of course, by ‘Paris’ he means ‘45 km from [...]
Posted in big tilde, dingers!, magglio ordonez, suss, tildes are used to control latinos on September 13, 2007 | 2 Comments »
In John Hodgman’s book The Areas Of My Expertise, he lays out a table of omens and portents that is used to predict the future. If you think it doesn’t apply to sports merely because he only has two sports references, you’re wrong.
Gary Sheffield’s two-run home run in the first inning of Wednesday night’s game [...]
Posted in big tilde, jerkwheat, magglio ordonez, oh snap, son of grander on September 10, 2007 | 6 Comments »
HUZZAH!
Our beloved MVP candidate, Los Tilde Grande, hit the game winning single tonight off of Casey Janssen! With a clutch two out hit that scored The Son of Grander and The Big Cabeza, the Tilde continues to flex his lovely locks of power in a Most Valuable Manner. Three Cheers for Magglio!
The Tigers improve [...]
Posted in big tilde, magglio ordonez, oh snap, suss on September 10, 2007 | 5 Comments »
It’s not that Jeremy Bonderman hates Magglio Ordoñez and his MVP-confiscating ways. Or Detroit and its game-winning methods. But it sure appears that Bondo isn’t helping either cause. The fleshy righthander only went 1⅓ innings, allowing six runs in a 14-7 loss to the Seattle Marine Biologists.
He’s been, to put it nicely, horrible as [...]
Posted in big tilde, magglio ordonez, the canadian navy has a mascot?, tuffy on September 8, 2007 | 2 Comments »
…we salute you.
The battle for the playoffs has been rather crowded for the Tigers. If it wasn’t Indians over one hill, it was Mariners just over the horizon or Yankees charging at them with $200m bayonets. It would be quite understandable if a poor kitty would feel just a bit paranoid about its [...]
Posted in big tilde, magglio ordonez, son of grander, suss on September 7, 2007 | No Comments »
Pictured to the left here, Miguel Batista threw not a round, spherical ball to Magglio Ordoñez, but rather a whitened potato. Legend has it that potatoes will not travel over 410 feet when struck by a wooden bat, nor are regulation baseballs. It was this cunning strategy that the Seattle Mariners’ Batista utilized when Tilde [...]
Posted in big tilde, lynn henning, magglio ordonez, suss, tilde-cision 07 on September 5, 2007 | 3 Comments »
Tilde-cision ‘07 is a wandering glance around America, compiling writers and their sentiments on the American League MVP race. Who is calling the race for Magglio Ordoñez? Who is defiantly opposing the Tildish ways and naming someone else the MVP? TheBigTilde.com grades the writers and their pro- and anti-Tilde arguments.
Today: Lynn Henning of the Detroit [...]
Posted in big tilde, magglio ordonez, tuffy, whaddya want for not hitting? rubber biscuit? on September 5, 2007 | 1 Comment »
…left the Tigers to lose.
When I was in the first grade, I had a huge crush on Katie. She was a little blonde fair-skinned lass whose greatest quality was that she knew I existed. Unfortunately, she also had an especially keen mean streak, even for a six-year-old.
The best example of her cruel intentions [...]
